Tag: humor
member name: Frightening Icon, Official Varmint of The State of Franklin
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June 23, 2007 09:37 PM EDT --
Onomatopœia, words which sound like the sound they're describing, are fun, and I enjoy using them in casual writing. Common onomatopœia include zip, click, and tap. Non-word utterances . . .
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June 29, 2007 02:31 PM EDT --
The Interrobang WTF Is That
I was innocently eating watermelon while listening the NPR one afternoon earlier this month when Says You! informed me that there is a punctuation mark for grammatical situations . . .
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July 02, 2007 11:50 AM EDT --
Correspondent Avoids Housework By Writing Non-Depth Article On Her Love Of Raw Peanuts
Breaking Non-News: Just a few lines ago this correspondent announced her intention to waste time by publishing a . . .
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June 21, 2007 02:06 PM EDT --
Early this afternoon my current avatar, known on the street as Frightening Icon, or F'con, demanded it be given net time or it would get its own namespace. Switching hats from namespace owner to Gather . . .
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September 08, 2007 10:05 PM EDT --
Dateline: Sept 8, 2007
This correspondent has learned through unnamed sources that Osama bin Laden, contrary to his very public fundamentalist Muslim agenda, has a taste for designer clothes - clothes . . .
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June 21, 2007 09:30 AM EDT --
Ten Reasons That Make Leaving Gather Sound Reasonable To Me
There aren't enough Paris Hilton articles.
Orange reminds me of "Football Time in Tennessee".
There aren't enough people . . .
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July 15, 2007 02:49 PM EDT --
One of the most useful mnemonic devices in my life is the "I Before E" rule. I often have trouble with transposed letters, and sometimes neither "ei" nor "ie" looks right . . .
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March 21, 2007 12:39 PM EDT --
This afternoon, in a startling move on Gather, a woman deleted an unfinished article.
"I'd saved it, hoping to finish it later", she explained, "but when I re-read it I realized that . . .
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July 14, 2007 07:33 PM EDT --
Their, There, They're, Little Writer
They're over there with their homophones on, little writer, and they can't hear you pounding the keys over here. No, I know how frustrating it is to have . . .
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September 18, 2007 08:02 AM EDT --
Mysterious Ransom Note Left At GNN Correspondent's Desk
Late yesterday evening this correspondent found a mysterious cut and paste ransom note in the pile of GNN tips that had accumulated since her . . .
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June 19, 2007 09:49 AM EDT --
Avril Lavigne has been touted as some sort of new punk performer...
But only by people who don't know what punk is. Simplistic lyrics and melody do not make a punk song. They do make great parody fodder, . . .
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March 20, 2007 10:03 AM EDT --
Early this morning a mother in Hometown, USA, confessed that she was ready for her children to return to school after only one day of Spring Break.
A neighbor overheard a conversation between the mother . . .
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September 03, 2007 06:00 PM EDT --
from the Kevin Hemingsway Journals
Today it was hot. I was sweaty, and it was good.
I spent the morning planning how to poison the pigeons. When I am old, I will shoot the pigeons, or I will poison . . .
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June 04, 2007 04:41 PM EDT --
Generated by the Bad Poetry Generator
~~~
I eat possums in the sad morning
And I think this is all very tiring
Dave's not here, man. So don't bother to ring.
Or is it Eris, peering up . . .
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March 25, 2007 10:40 AM EDT --
Ode To O. Possum Roadkill
A Short Poem
Oh possum, oh possum, I hardly knew ye;
You'd hang by your tail from the limb of a tree,
And just now, I was wondering where you were at,
And realized . . .
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August 31, 2007 01:28 PM EDT --
The Kevin Hemingsway Journals: The Woman
"She was a fine pony, a strong pony. She was wild and unbroken. She was a fine strong blond pony. She made me think of a woman. Her flank felt like a fine . . .
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April 29, 2007 10:47 AM EDT --
A Snake In My Hay
(A Not Dirty Limerick, So Get Your Minds Out Of The Gutter)
© J. Golden
When I went out to garden Tuesday,
I found a strange snake in my hay.
Though I tried and . . .
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August 16, 2007 01:57 PM EDT --
(August 2, 2007, Abingdon Virginia Premier)
The Stardust movie, based on a book by Neil Gaiman and Charles Vess, has finally come to theaters. I've not read the book, so my opinion is not colored . . .
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August 26, 2007 02:01 PM EDT --
Huzzah! I finally got a taste of tomato that I grew myself. A rescue tomato - one that had split because of the erratic rainfall - was almost ripe and a temptation to bugs, so I brought it in to finish. . . .
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March 09, 2007 05:36 PM EST --
9 year old son: You know, mom, I wish we could find another planet like Earf in the solar system.
Me: You mean, "Earth".
Son: Yeah, Earf.
Me: EarTH. T-H. TH. TH. EeaarrTH.
Son: I wish we . . .
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